Now that I've changed the blog look yet another time, its time for another post. I came to office at 10.30 AM, really late I know. But I don't have any work to do as of now, apart from reading pdfs...
Don't make me think. My head's so screwed up. Sometimes I go whoa my life's going at such a fast pace! Other times I'm thinking, I'm 26, where am I?? I don't know myself. My career is at such a standstill. It seems so to me. I moved from one dept. to another in office, and it seems like a good move. In fact, it IS a good move. But like I said, right now, I'm a rookie and it might be a while before I become good at the work they do. Most of my college friends have been all around the world due to work reasons, and for some reason, I haven't been abroad at all. I've worked on niche tech, products, still I don't know where am I or how good am I when compared to the others or when will I really be a go-getter in my team. I've always moved around in India and that hasn't helped my career at all. I'm working hard, I've worked hard before... but still, I'm at a standstill. I've made this decision of not quitting the telecom domain whenever I change jobs, in hope that I'll be a domain expert which'll help me in my career. But it hasn't. I work and I work and I work, but I'm stuck like glue. I have this craving to move up and give presentations, be involved in team meetings, make people stand up and take notice, and try hard as I may, I haven't the slightest clue whats wrong. I want to move out, I want to work, have agenda, weekly meetings (at least), do something substantial at the end of the day.
I was among the top 5 in my class. The not-so-smart bunch in my class have all been abroad (either cuz they're married to guys living outside of India or cuz of jobs (guys) ); and my friends ask me when are you planning, whats your next move, how come you are still here? And I have no answer for that. Makes me feel like a total loser. Its not just about going outside India, its also about doing something good at work that makes your boss take note of you and think you are capable enough of going abroad and doing something for the co. I want to be taken seriously by everyone and be entrusted with responsibilities. I want to work; I want to WORK! Why are projects always scarce in the team that I am in?? In whatever team I am in?? I feel like a failure when it comes to my career. There, I said it. And I'm ashamed to say at 26 I'm nowhere in my work life.
Where the hell have I gone wrong? Where???!!??!! I'm so frustrated. I'm so angry with myself. I'm so angry with myself and my stupid decisions. I really wish things look up at work. I try hard to stay positive and look forward to everyday at work, but its hard, its not easy as it seems. I need to see results, I need to see that I'm going somewhere.
Don't make me think. My head's so screwed up. Sometimes I go whoa my life's going at such a fast pace! Other times I'm thinking, I'm 26, where am I?? I don't know myself. My career is at such a standstill. It seems so to me. I moved from one dept. to another in office, and it seems like a good move. In fact, it IS a good move. But like I said, right now, I'm a rookie and it might be a while before I become good at the work they do. Most of my college friends have been all around the world due to work reasons, and for some reason, I haven't been abroad at all. I've worked on niche tech, products, still I don't know where am I or how good am I when compared to the others or when will I really be a go-getter in my team. I've always moved around in India and that hasn't helped my career at all. I'm working hard, I've worked hard before... but still, I'm at a standstill. I've made this decision of not quitting the telecom domain whenever I change jobs, in hope that I'll be a domain expert which'll help me in my career. But it hasn't. I work and I work and I work, but I'm stuck like glue. I have this craving to move up and give presentations, be involved in team meetings, make people stand up and take notice, and try hard as I may, I haven't the slightest clue whats wrong. I want to move out, I want to work, have agenda, weekly meetings (at least), do something substantial at the end of the day.
I was among the top 5 in my class. The not-so-smart bunch in my class have all been abroad (either cuz they're married to guys living outside of India or cuz of jobs (guys) ); and my friends ask me when are you planning, whats your next move, how come you are still here? And I have no answer for that. Makes me feel like a total loser. Its not just about going outside India, its also about doing something good at work that makes your boss take note of you and think you are capable enough of going abroad and doing something for the co. I want to be taken seriously by everyone and be entrusted with responsibilities. I want to work; I want to WORK! Why are projects always scarce in the team that I am in?? In whatever team I am in?? I feel like a failure when it comes to my career. There, I said it. And I'm ashamed to say at 26 I'm nowhere in my work life.
Where the hell have I gone wrong? Where???!!??!! I'm so frustrated. I'm so angry with myself. I'm so angry with myself and my stupid decisions. I really wish things look up at work. I try hard to stay positive and look forward to everyday at work, but its hard, its not easy as it seems. I need to see results, I need to see that I'm going somewhere.