Why is it so hard to calm down??


Yesterday I finished my work early and left for home. I planned to watch Ratatouille last evening, but it didn't work out (no tickets available). I was blue, I was so looking forward to catch an animation movie, that too from Steve Job's co. But, everything happens for a reason, I thought since I'll be leaving early why not go to the tailor and put myself through the torture of getting my dresses back.

I went home, took bath (for 2nd time in the day in case you think I didn't in the morning) and headed straight to the boutique. She gave me my dresses, saying it was altered and would now fit me well. About time, I said to myself (I was supposed to get them on 1st). Alas, how wrong was she! And I! Each of the 4 were horribly stitched. To make a long story short, after 3 hours of no-its-so-tight-that-I-can't-take-it-over-my-chest-when-I'm-trying-to-take-the-dress-off and no-this-is-still-tight-I-can't-breathe (why would she want to kill me????), I half-heartedly agreed and took my dresses, after over-paying her (class A bitch that she is).

What took me by surprise that I was really angry at one point with her, and her tailor. She has employed 4 tailors and they do the job. Mine was done by a new joinee. Horrible. I felt so much anger, that I could hear me telling the angry-me, calm down its just a piece of cloth, its just a new dress, nothing to get so worked up about. And when she overcharged me I felt even more anger. C'mon she should've compensated ME because of the delay and trips to her boutique and innumerable trials in the trial room! After I went back home, I felt that I shouldn't have been so mad. Though I didn't yell at her or anything, I wasn't even aggressive (by words), but the feeling inside - was terrible. My heart was racing (thats bad in a way), I was breathing heavily, and my insides were doing somersaults. I hated feeling that way. After I came home, I guess the feeling was still within me, so I got irritated at my mom (I tried to control!) and slept without brushing my teeth or putting eyedrops. In other words, I caused more harm to myself with such unreaosnable behaviour. The tailor got away with more cash, my mom and I made up before I hung up, only I didn't brush or take care of my eyes.

Yes, I learnt my lesson. Anger is such an emotion, its one thing that comes to you unvited (though you will have invited it subconciously but won't acknowledge/admit - like you'll blame someone else for your anger most of the times) and stays on till you get rid of it. Believe me, which is hard. Especially with the stress you face, and also simple questions when you are angry will add fuel to the fire. Its so bad I wonder why its so hard to control it, to not feel it.

I have a challenge for all reading this, and me - try not to be angry at anyone for a whole day. I'll come back end of the day today (or tomorrow) and write how I fared.

1 Response to Why is it so hard to calm down??

  1. S* says:

    Ratatouille is such a great movie. You should see it.

    Anyway...it's hard to not be angry when you feel unfairly treated or taken advantage of. I think the key here is to stick up for yourself.