Is it supposed to be funny?? Or anything for that matter??
1. I complain of splitting headache after my first (and last ever) time drinking, and mummyji is all happy and jolly! Cajoling me that its all okay while I hold my head over the toilet and puke my insides out. She tells me "beta aisa hi hota hai" while I hold my hair as though I'm about to tear them off, all thanks to the headache, of the hangover kind.
2. I'm off for my honeymoon and my mom says she won't call me and disturb me lest I'm "busy with hubby" and warns me not to call her either. Why, will she be busy too? She says, "No you fool, I mean you will be busy in the room with your husband!". WHAT?! You think my husband paid a lakh *just* to go all the way to Himalayas to make love (and a baby) ??!?!! We could do that here at home and save all that money you know! We are going there mainly, to have fun, see new places. I clarify this to her. She giggles and asks me to "just wait till you get there". I wonder and say nothing more.
3. I'm off for the honeymoon and mummyji says, "beta khush khabri leke aana". What khush khabri, I ask, hoping she'd be too embarassed to say it and thus, save me further embarassment. She says, "Jab main gayi thi tumhaare papaji ke saath to tumhaara husband hamaare saath aaya, waisa wala good news le aana". My mouth open, I tell her, "Mummyji hubby to already hai na, phir ab kisko le aau", hoping she'd close the topic thinking his son married a dumb doll. She goes, "Nahi maine kaha ek nanhe munne ki khabar le aao". Who?? We're gonna meet many strangers there, you want news about their kids? I didn't ask anything, I gave up.
4. My neighbour asks me, in a language alien to me, making signs, "Where's the baby? Its already one year since you are married!!". Oh we've ordered one, don't know what happened and I don't care yet, I wanted to say. I just smiled and acted coy. Bad move. She says, "Next Dussehra you have to enter my home with a baby!". I'm outta the country next Dussehra!
Mom says she's healthy so I shouldn't delay a baby, mummyji says ek saal ke andar bachha ho jaana chahiye. Mera socho please! Mujhe abhi woh sab ke baare mein nahi sochna hai. Mujhe pehle theek se settle hona hai, I've got so many responsibilities - my life is overwhelming as it is.
I get so irritated when people ask me if there's any "good news". Yes I'll give you good news, I've got 2 new pairs of jootis from Chandigarh, I've got 8 new salwar kameezes, I've bought a bangle stand, I've got cosmetics from AD as gift from hubby, a new watch, my health is fine, so is hubby's... all thats IS good news isn't it? No! Not if you are Indian bahu! Good news is only the announcement of a baby! I've got other things to do before I even think of it! Besides, I'm already handling a kid - MY HUBBY!! I cannot handle another one so soon! I don't have the time, money, physical strength, mental ability. Heck, I'm not even sure if I want to bring a baby into this world. I love kids, I love babies - please don't get me wrong. I'm a great massi, a great didi to kids in my family - but seriously, I'm not ready for one of my own yet. I don't know if I will be. As of now, its a NO. NO. NO. And frankly, I'm also scared of the whole pregnancy thing. Huge blown up tummy, big size clothes, the funny walk, the odd-hour odd cravings, the mood swings, the hormone changes, the swollen feet, the injections and hospital smell - see, how scared I am?
I, we (me + hubby) would want a child when both are ready. I should be happily looking forward to all the vomitting, swollen feet, big clothes and all that I mentioned above. Only then I'll have the "new mommy" glow.
Right now, I'm happy playing with other's kids :-) Preparation for "good news" in future, if you look at it!
2. I'm off for my honeymoon and my mom says she won't call me and disturb me lest I'm "busy with hubby" and warns me not to call her either. Why, will she be busy too? She says, "No you fool, I mean you will be busy in the room with your husband!". WHAT?! You think my husband paid a lakh *just* to go all the way to Himalayas to make love (and a baby) ??!?!! We could do that here at home and save all that money you know! We are going there mainly, to have fun, see new places. I clarify this to her. She giggles and asks me to "just wait till you get there". I wonder and say nothing more.
3. I'm off for the honeymoon and mummyji says, "beta khush khabri leke aana". What khush khabri, I ask, hoping she'd be too embarassed to say it and thus, save me further embarassment. She says, "Jab main gayi thi tumhaare papaji ke saath to tumhaara husband hamaare saath aaya, waisa wala good news le aana". My mouth open, I tell her, "Mummyji hubby to already hai na, phir ab kisko le aau", hoping she'd close the topic thinking his son married a dumb doll. She goes, "Nahi maine kaha ek nanhe munne ki khabar le aao". Who?? We're gonna meet many strangers there, you want news about their kids? I didn't ask anything, I gave up.
4. My neighbour asks me, in a language alien to me, making signs, "Where's the baby? Its already one year since you are married!!". Oh we've ordered one, don't know what happened and I don't care yet, I wanted to say. I just smiled and acted coy. Bad move. She says, "Next Dussehra you have to enter my home with a baby!". I'm outta the country next Dussehra!
Mom says she's healthy so I shouldn't delay a baby, mummyji says ek saal ke andar bachha ho jaana chahiye. Mera socho please! Mujhe abhi woh sab ke baare mein nahi sochna hai. Mujhe pehle theek se settle hona hai, I've got so many responsibilities - my life is overwhelming as it is.
I get so irritated when people ask me if there's any "good news". Yes I'll give you good news, I've got 2 new pairs of jootis from Chandigarh, I've got 8 new salwar kameezes, I've bought a bangle stand, I've got cosmetics from AD as gift from hubby, a new watch, my health is fine, so is hubby's... all thats IS good news isn't it? No! Not if you are Indian bahu! Good news is only the announcement of a baby! I've got other things to do before I even think of it! Besides, I'm already handling a kid - MY HUBBY!! I cannot handle another one so soon! I don't have the time, money, physical strength, mental ability. Heck, I'm not even sure if I want to bring a baby into this world. I love kids, I love babies - please don't get me wrong. I'm a great massi, a great didi to kids in my family - but seriously, I'm not ready for one of my own yet. I don't know if I will be. As of now, its a NO. NO. NO. And frankly, I'm also scared of the whole pregnancy thing. Huge blown up tummy, big size clothes, the funny walk, the odd-hour odd cravings, the mood swings, the hormone changes, the swollen feet, the injections and hospital smell - see, how scared I am?
I, we (me + hubby) would want a child when both are ready. I should be happily looking forward to all the vomitting, swollen feet, big clothes and all that I mentioned above. Only then I'll have the "new mommy" glow.
Right now, I'm happy playing with other's kids :-) Preparation for "good news" in future, if you look at it!
There you made me laugh and think too in the same post of yours.
Okay, I don't know Hindi, but I gathered from contextual clues that this is one hilarious post. Keep writing--and thinking.
howlarious :))