Unloading my think tank...

... and frankly, I wish I hadnt.
I want to write a review about it here; but just thinking about it makes me go, "Where do I begin?! It was a sad attempt at nothing all through!"
But I'm smart, so I'll divide it by the movie, the starcast, and the 2 plus points.

The movie - It had absolutely nothing new to offer. Apart from seeing Bachchan in chef clothing (and ponytail, if you may) and the small kid with her ever-irritating tone of speaking to AB. (Aye, kya kar raha hai? Aaaj bhi call nahi... mere DVDs laaya kya? Ugh.) The story sucked, believe me. I thought romance between a 34 year old and a man who's older than her dad would be handled with taste (no reference to AB being chef in the movie here), but no, it turned out to be a sad melodramatic saga. I wouldnt be convinced with the way AB convinced Paresh Rawal about age being all in the mind. Personally, I dont think age is a barrier for love, but tell me, what led AB and Tabu to fall in love in the movie? There were no mature scences regarding their life, their talks with each other, their aspirations, or life up until they met each other. I say "mature" cuz I expect a 34 yr old and 64 yr old to be mature enough to choose the other as lifepartner. It seriously lacked here.

If you arent convinced the movie is bad, read on.

The Cast:

AB - lovely actor in a bad-written role. He deserves better. Seems like he's grabbing whats coming his way these days. In some scenes, he was made to look like an idiot. And, dont even get me started on how he woos Tabu, cuz I frankly dont remember. At times, it seems the whole film crew did the movie to mock him. But we all still love AB, dont we :)

Tabu - Cocky, high-handed, attitude, acts as though she's modern-age Smita Patil or Deepti Naval. She's good yea, but not that good. She's highly over-rated. In the movie, she looked every bit 34 year old (sorry but I had to say it!). And the way she used to say, "aye ghaas phuus" to AB in that half-drunk slurry voice of hers, it made me cringe and pakad ke maaro her.
Listen to this, at one point Paresh Rawal very seriously says, "You will marry AB over my dead body!". She cooly asks, "When will you die then?" in all seriousness. ARRRGGGH, make that threatre se uth ke jao.

Swini Khara a.k.a Sexy - What a name for a 9 year old! Appalling! And like I mentioned before, her tone of talking was really, really irritating. Movie uske bina chal sakti thi...

The 2 plus point of the movie - Zohra Sehgal and Paresh Rawal.
Zohra Sehgal looks graceful, and is humourous. She's lively, chirpy and the song she sings when Paresh Rawal relents and allows for the mariage to happen, is sung so well and with grace, yet again :) Hats off to her!
Paresh Rawal was hilarious until he decided to go on satyagraha. I even laughed at his lines, believe me he was funny!

Verdict - Dont waste hard earned money on this movie; watch it when its beamed on cable.

Hey, another plus point came to my mind! The bangles that Tabu's wearing after the marriage are same as mine! Bikul same chooda! Yaay!

I have seldom come across a person who doesnt like Amitabh Bachchan. In fact, I wouldnt want to trivialise his popularity by linking him to some article in wiki about him. I wont do that; cuz he's famous. He's adored by everyone. He started from ground zero and look where he is now.

He rocked the 70s (VERY important note: I wasnt born then) with his chequered pants, wide collared shirts and that awesome sideburn. He wooed women with his voice, with his awesome hair. He started a style mantra by merely tying his shirt into a knot because the shirt tore just before shooting started. The next day whole of Bombay had people tie up their shirt into knots!

His style of "hain", and "vijay deenanath chauhan" still make people whistle. KBC, inspite of no new format, survived simply on his charisma.

And who can forget the outfit he wore for the song "Saara Zamaana" in the movie "Yaarana"? It was a RAGE! Lightbulbs flashing as he moved to RD Burman's famous song...

I can go on and on about him... yet it would not suffice.

But...


see the pic below. Did he really have to do this? Ohmygoodgodwhatwashethinking?!!



Its a pic from his latest movie - Jhoom Barabar Jhoom.

OK - on the topic of the pic - first of all, what the heck?! As if his ad campaings were not enough, this came up! And pray, why do people (by people I mean, the film crew) say he's looking like Jack Sparrow - oops - I mean, Captain Jack Sparrow in that ridiculous outfit above? He's not even CLOSE! He's just the epitome of faux pau in that pic above. Even the girl in the pic (behind) seems to think so.

As a fan, I'd like to say to him - "please, aisa mat kijiye... apne image ke baare mein na sahi, apne fans ke dil mein jo aapka image hai uske baare mein to sochiye..."


PS: Am going to watch Cheeni Kum tonight... mmm should be a "sweet" movie ;)

Remember a few days back I rued about the monetary demands of auto drivers? I've got a solution!!!

So last evening me and 2 other friends from my office were waiting to get an auto, so that we could go home. Friend 1 says, "Oh dear, its time to start bargaining with these auto drivers again. Its such a pain."
Friend 2 says, "Yea, and these days they ask for 80 rs! Wonder whats got into them!"
Friend 1 - "Thats because we tell them to take us to [insert my co. name] bldg; they know its a big shot place to work, and that we earn well."

Frankly, I'm so through with bargaining with these drivers. I tell my price, they agree - fine. Else, so long mi amigo! And I wait for the next one.

So after my friends continued...
Friend 2 - "We hardly earn well! Its all on the offer letter! What comes to us at the end of every month is so less! Is it?" she asks me.
Me - Yea really. So the next time the auto guy complains about traffic, one-way route, petrol expensive, lets say this - (in their tone)

How 80 rs? Every month-end so much tax we pay, hardly anything in salary, very poor. And no leave, everyday coming to office - even saturday, sunday. Hard life [sad expression face]. Then PF cut also so much, no money at all. LTA also claim once in 2 years. Please... [more sad expression]

We all started laughing... and Friend 1 says, "After saying this, we'd sound so bechara to him, maybe he'll offer us 60 rs to drop us home!!"

Its a new start, and I feel fresh!

I think I suffer from OCD... I'm sure I do.

... at her usual time of 12.30 PM and me and Kirty dedicate this song to her ;-)


आ गयी है TL साहिबां
होने हम पे मेहरबान

ले लेती हमारी जान
खुद रहे काम से अनजान

भारती है हर हफ्ते ५० घंटे timesheet में
employee है या मेहमान?

ये कैसी तेरी लीला भगवान्
हम सब है hairaan

भगवान् देखे और बोले
क्या करे कलयुग है मेरी जान


Kirty added a दोहा too:

पोथी पढ़, code पढ़ employee bana ना कोई
जो थोड़ी फिरंगी अंग्रेजी बोले, सच्चा employee होए



PS: We wrote it over the IM ;-)

1. I'm wearing a deo to which I was introduced to when I was living in the city I like the mostest...

mmmm the deo smell is haunting... brings back those times... trains, pani puri, shopping at colaba, linking road, bhelwala at the turn near Camy Wafers... and so much more...



Who says I cant miss the place?? मैन पूछती हूँ कौन?!!

So I was on my way to the parlour this morning (yes छुट्टी के din मैं थोड़ी self-indulgent हो जाती हूँ ) . It was scorching hot at 11 AM, and I saw two knife sharpeners. The ones like this guy below.




The 2 men I saw were carrying one of those things each, and they are really heavy mind you. One of them was young, about 30 max, another was probably 50, and was limping. My heart melted... I felt like my goodness why do they have to do that for a living?? I dont even know how many customers they get each day, given that hardly anyone these days goes for such traditional methods of knife/scissor sharpening. Probably no one even sharpens them; they just buy new ones.

And operating it in the blistering heat must be hard. I didnt even see them carrying a bottle of water along. They have to keep pedalling on that small peddler-like thing, which makes the round thing spin fast, and the object to be sharpened is held on it. Just the object's edge thats to be sharpened is held near. And you gotta peddle faster if you gotto make it spin faster. That will do the trick for a blunt knife. What if the sharp-edged spin wheel gets rusted?? What if the instrument needs frequent oiling? I mean, what are the chances of making a living out of something like this in which probably the maintaining cost outweighs the earning from it?

This is not good. I hate to see people suffer, I hate to see them toil to make both ends meet. Makes me feel really selfish about going to the parlour and worry about my eyebrows than these things.

I hope the sun wasnt too hard on them.
I hope they got ample customers. I wish they get more everyday.
I hope they had water when they got thirsty.
I hope they didnt feel miserable when they were going about their jobs.
I hope that at the end of the day, they are satisfied.
And that they are happy.

Amen.

... is what I want to tell the auto drivers of this city. What else can you do when they ask exorbitant amount of money and literally indulge in daylight robbery? No one - the govt. nor the police - does anything to curb this menace. Its commuters like me who have the face the brunt, be at the receiving end always.

The meters are put for fancy - not even a single auto in the city uses them. Au contraire, you ask them about it, and they simply drive away without another words. Its appalling!

It happens everyday to me and I'm sure I'm voicing scores of others in the city like me. Picture this:

Me: Take me to A, right turn from there to bldg B.
Auto: (big loud voice) OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO THAT far?? Okay. 120 rs *grin*
Me: Wha??!?! I give 50 rs. everyday!
Auto: So little madam! Lot of traffic madam...
Me: SO? Am I responsible for it? Thank your stars I'm taking auto and not buying a vehicle of my own, which would've added to this sad city's traffic woes.
Auto: Route long madam. Petrol costly madam.
Me: Then why dont you get CNG engine fitted? You can ply 500 km in just 50 rs.
Auto: (laughing at my suggestion) Route aaalso long madam.
Me: So? I'm giving you almost 10 rs. more than what the meter would've charged.
Auto: Okay madam 115 rs.
(From 120 he comes down to 115! Big diff!)
Me: No way. Is meter on?
Auto: (looks at me, he's mum)
Drives away!!!

This is just one instance. There are times when they quote a humongous, laughable price and just leave. You ask about meter they just smile and drive away. Mind you, its been more than 4 months, meters are just a fancy thing like the posters they stick on the insides of the auto.

I understand the problems in using the meter. My take is - if the min. amount is too less, then dont accept the conditions in the first place! Really! Why agree to that price when you are not going to use the meters anyway? Quote a price to the govt. such that its profitable for you, and for us commuters as well. You complain to the police or control room, they dont do anything.

Its a struggle everyday, commuting by autos in this city. They cheat, they are rude. Once I got an auto for 60 rs. to drop me home, when I pay him 100 rs., he gives me back 30 rs saying he doesnt have change!!! HOLY MOTHER OF GOD why didnt you tell me in the first place??!! Give me the 100 rs. back I'll get change and pay you 60!! He says no, and starts abusing me and making big hand gestures for all the people on the road to see, and do nothing.
Now, I make sure I have change before I get into an auto. I've learnt my lesson the hard way :( + x-(

And today, it was worse. This nth auto I flag, and I tell him where I want to go. He, like others, quotes a huge price. I'm like, "Dude you must be crazy" (I didnt say it out loud, I used different words.)
What he says next what a bolt, "Madam, earning in dollars madam... 100 rs not much."
Meaning, I earn in dollars (not true) so I should pay even if it is twice the actual amount.

YEA RIGHT!

... to be able to blog from my workstation, peacefully. He keeps turning back to see what am I upto, and comments on whatever he sees on my screen.

"Hey whos that?"
"Wow whats on wiki's main page today?"
"On man did India lose again?"
"I see you are reading a blog. Whose is it?"

Gimme a break! Gimme freedom to read blogs, write personal mails, kiss my screen - whatever. As long as its not hindering work why does he bother is something beyond me. Nose-poker!

Anyways *shrugs off his remarks* back to my life. I was reading up on Wikipedia today about Project Tiger, Global Warming and Kyoto Protocol.

I knew about Porject Tiger but not in detail. Reading the article shook me. The number of tigers is dwindling fast and we need to do something about it. And fast. Tigers are at the apex of food chain which means to balance it we need to conserve other animals (which are the tigers' prey) and for that, in turn vegetation should thrive. Which basically means that success of Project Tiger helps in maintaining a well-balanced ecosystem as well. Which means lesser carbon dioxide gases, greenhouse emissions curbed, no/not much climate changes - generally pollution-free air. Which is great! But sadly, the project is losing momentum, thanks to the politicians and CBI enquieries which take years to bring poachers to book.
I wish I could do something.

Global warming is a threat every nation is waking up to. The ozone layer has almost vanished from over Australian skies and the US is the highest emitter of greenhouse gases, China's a close second. We already hear/see stories about floods, snow in areas where it never snowed before, tsunami, drastic change in temperature - well, if we dont do something about it, 20 years down the line we pay be paying a heavy price. Here's what we all can do:
1. Switch off lights, comp etc when not in use.
2. Avoid personal vehicles.
3. Avoid plastics; use jutebags instead.
4. Insist on books, papers, greeting cards made of recycled paper. This way, lesser trees are cut.

Kyoto Protocol is an agreement which nations sign in order to abide by its rules of bringing down greenhouse gas emissions and generally make the environment clean. US, of course, hasnt signed. Big brother - big bully. Read the wiki article to see how blind (selfish) US is, and refuses to sign the protocol. Well, actually Bush and his motley crew are selfish; California is implementing the protocol in its own way.

I feel I should do something about issues like these, but then do not have the proper channels to go through with it, or start something. And I just go back to my life - selfish me :(

Question: Does anyone of you do something regarding this?

... but hey, what do you know! This one seemed interesting.

Your EQ is 140

131-150: You are remarkable when it comes to relating with others. Only the biggest losers get under your skin.

Would I have answered differently if I'd taken this quiz a week back, or a year back or 2 years down the line? Things like EQ depends on how you are feeling lately, isnt it? Hmm...

This weekend went by pretty neat. I cooked, I cleaned, I relaxed. Spent it all at hiome, which is surprising given that I am hardly home during weekends. I usually go watch a movie, go to the beach, or some other outdoor activity. This weekend, our maid-cum-cook (we call her Aunty) took off for 3 days to go to a pilgrimage. Previously, I used to groan. Now, I didnt mind it. I was excited actually, and that I could cook whatever I want, however I want these 3 days!


(Believe me, cooking is theraupetic, sometimes.)




So I cooked an array of dishes from poori-bhaji to pav bhaji and even gajar ka halwa, which was a hit with everyone. I also made soya nuggets with peas curry. Hubby loved it. Also, apparently, I can cook lunch for 4 in an hour! Not bad considering my past history when I couldnt even prepare lunch for myself.

On saturday, hubby went to have guys' time at his friend's place. I was invited, but didnt want to go cuz it was an all-guys thing, and I didnt wanna intrude in their "fun". It was 12 AM and he still wasnt home. I went up to A's room and started crying (A is my bro-in-law). He cheered me up, and we decided to teach my hubby a lesson. We made a poster that said "NO ENTRY" and drew a goofy guy wearing a Vodafone tee and holding a hockey stick, with "Hic Hic" written all around the cartoon. Obvious reference to hubby :-| And we stuck this on our bedroom door. He came home at 1 AM and it was fun to see him asking me to let him in. Hahaha!

I am reading The Maximum City by Suketu Mehta these days. Makes me miss the city all the more. Great, just great :-|

...I am in office at an un-our-home-planetly hour of 9.15 PM?? Fookin all ye people in Big Apple watchin' ova us eh?

The call is going on (and on since an hour and a half) with the Colorado Springs team (yea not New York, I didnt know what CO is called - Big Orange or Small Pear or Medium sized Mango), and its going on even now.

In between, the call shifted from the conference room to a workstation (dont ask why, its "business confidential" you see), and I was there too, sitting and starting at my screensaver, which is awesome by the way, since I work on Linux. My desktop is KDE, and man, they have some amazing screen savers! Boo Windows boohoo!

This time, the screen saver was, hold your breath, chemical formulations of some very interesting substances! Check these out...

** C₁₂H₂₂O₁₁ - Sucrose / Sugar
Betcha you didnt remember that from high school!

** C₁₀Cl₁₀O - Kepone Chlorodecone.
Its a fungicide/insecticide.

** C₁₀H₁₄N₂ - Nicotine, an insecticide.
Wha..?!!?! Nicotine is insecticide????!??! Isnt that whats there in tea? :O

** C₄H₁₀FO₂P - Sarin Enantioner.
Its a chemical warfare agent.

** C₁₆H₁₈N₂O₄S - Penicillin G.
Next time you go to the chemist, ask for C₁₆H₁₈N₂O₄S and see him wow at your intelligence!

** C₉H₉NO₃ - Adrenachrome. Its a hallucinogen.
Does it cure someone from hallucinations or induce them and pump the adrenalin??

** C₂₃₂N₉₂O₁₃₉P₂₂ - Deoxyribo nucleic acid. Commonly known as DNA.
*gasp* DNA? But how can it have a single chemical formula? Isnt DNA of each individual different? Then what makes it so if not the chemical formulation itself?? Intriguing!


(The End.)

A large chunk of Indian food comprises of desserts. Sweets made in desi ghee and milk, especially. Some people cook sweets during special occasions, some like it occasionally, and there are some who like it almost everyday.

The latter category would be my family. So it was but natural that moi tried something sweet. Dish, I meant. I thought of making gajar ka halwa, or carrot pudding. There was some gaajar left in the fridge since many days (or weeks) anyway ;-) The resourceful me, thought why not try making the halwa.

I did! I did it! And it turned out - I am trying my best to sound modest here - exceptionally well *ahem* So here's my magic receipe.

Warning - DO try this at home.

-----
Preparation time: 25 mins. approx

Serves - 3.

Ingredients:
2 tbsp desi ghee
5-6 carrots, washed, peeled and grated
8 cardomoms, peeled and crushed
1 cup milk
3 spoonfuls sugar

Directions:
- Heat ghee in a kadhai for 2 minutes.
- Add the carrots to the kadhai, and stir continuously for 5 minutes.
- Add the milk and stir for 15 minutes on medium flame.
- Add the sugar and crushed cardamom.
- Stir for another 5 minutes, till sugar mixes well with the milk.

Its ready!



Serve warm. Be ready to accept the compliments.
-----

What?! Gone in minutes!



Welcome the new cook on the block, you :)

Above can be made lot more tastier with condensed milk, khoya etc; but this is a simple, quick, easy-to-make receipe.

I shall be posting more of my recipes here from now on. Bon Apetite!

... come great responsibilities.

Yea baby! I'm goin to see Spiderman 3 this weekend! Thats right you losers! Suck on that! Tickets booked, mood set, enthusiasm to shout during the movie is brimming. The only thats left is - WHAT AM I GOING TO WEAR?

*shudder*

Maybe I can take it easy, until Friday and worry about it then.

Oh, by the way, how do you like the pink-look of my blog? Thumbs up? Or thumbs down? Tell me puhleeeease. (Also somebody please tell me why am I so so so obssessed with the looks of my blog. Beats me.)

And I was thinking of cooking something fantastic this weekend. Can anyone reading this (all 0 of you) suggest something? Some lip-smacking, finger-licking, hubby-will-come-lift-me-DDLJ-style-after-eating recipe?

Thanks! Work beckons!

PS: Veg recipes only. Go green.